A Kick in the Groin
Last month, a now-infamous Sacramento State student decided to auction off her virginity to help pay off her student loans. Possibly inspired by Natalie Dylan's sterling example, Mizzou sophomore Michael Linneman posted a bid on eBay entitling the winning bidder to kick him in the testicles and tape the incident in order to raise money for Linneman's college education. The starting bid? $80,000. Linneman's taken the bid down for "personal reasons" but our guess is he realized most people can probably kick him, or anyone else, in the groin free of charge at a local bar.
Pride of the Lions
Penn State should be proud. Damn proud. Not only are the Nittany Lions No. 3 in the nation, but former bikini model, recent grad and current Big Ten Network employee Melanie Collins is starting to develop a cult-like blogsphere following.
Back to 2003
As you read this, we're clapping, tipping our proverbial cap, nodding approvingly and shouting "well done!" Why? Because the College of Marin's football team's 51-game losing streak finally came to an end this weekend against (those poor, poor souls from) Solano.
The Numbers Don't Lie
It seems only natural to segue into a Wazzu post after talking about 51-game losing streaks and really awful football teams. We all know the Cougars are bad (they just lost 69-0, after all), but The Legend of Cecilio Guante did some digging and figured out just how abysmal this Washington State team really is. Some of this squad's more dubious achievements: The Cougars gave up 19 touchdowns in their last two games and have averaged a 44-point margin of defeat this season.
Just Type in "Cornell"
File this away under the category of bizarre and slightly unsettling Craigslist postings: A visiting Cornell professor posted an add seeking a playmate for a library make-out session. Undergrads, grads or staff welcome!
And All-Star (Albeit Fictional) Panel
Ever so briefly, the Vanderbilt Commodores rose from the ranks of irrelevance and became an on-the-field force and the nation's darling team. Now, two-straight losses later, the rest of the season's a little bleaker. Since coach Bobby Johnson refuses to talk about anything but the upcoming battle against Duke, College Game Balls had no choice but to craft imaginary interviews with Sweet Lou, Tim Tebow's infamous lady friend, Trev Alberts and more to figure out what exactly the future holds.
Well This is Awkward
There's something in journalism called "adjacencies." Adjacencies are bad. You don't want ads for Product A next to a story that mentions Product A. You don't want a story on M.A.D.D. next to an ad for beer. And you don't want a story on Boston College linebacker Brian Toal's incredible toughness and "unbreakable" status next to a story on his broken leg.
Steer Clear of the Stamp Collectors
Gentleman, by now you know That's so Fetch cares about your well-being above all else. Accordingly, we felt it wise to direct you to the site's post on the top 10 types of girls that guys should avoid. We agree it's a little scary for a girl to read wedding magazines when she's single, but at the end of the day, what's so wrong with a stamp collection?
Pop Culture Nugget
We know you get excited when you think about Lindsay Lohan's lesbian relations, but Spike thinks Lohan's earned the top spot on its list of the top 10 fauxmosexuals.
Today In Hot Clicks
A unique World's Hottest Athlete Contest ... Follow up on ref who forearmed SC player ... Rays-Phillies links ... A tribute to spitting ... Video: Rays and Phils songs ... Dumb blonde.
Odds and Ends
Before Colt McCoy became a Heisman hopeful, he was just another local high school legend starring in neighborhood drugstore commercials (No, thank you Colt).
A Note to Iowa State
Generally, when your players run into the goal posts upon entering the stadium, it means the decorative smoke is a tad too thick.
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